Fangs

Viper here,

I'm feeling extremely feral today. That's not the right word for it. 'Horny' maybe, if not for all the baggage. Full of desire. I've been settling on "monster" to describe myself because there are so many parts and aspects I've accumulated over a lifetime of strange feelings and obsessions that I feel belong to me more than the others. Those feelings predate any memory of sexuality but couldn't help but be absorbed into it as we aged. That's what I think, at least.

Of course, my demon horns are extremely important to me. My scales. My claws... And my fangs. In some ways, though, those fangs aren't even the most snake part of me. We had a pretty lengthy spider obsession period, too, and even though there isn't much of that evident in my self-representation, it was never really a physical impulse. It was the idea of hiding in one place and the idea of catching. Fangs sinking into flesh, paralyzing, and binding. That kind of power. It's one genre of monster that fills us with that special kind of fascination that only comes with fear.

I tried that shape out on Mira fairly early in our relationship. This probably isn't easy for a singlet to understand, but the power of suggestion is strong for us. We don't have direct experience, but the way some practitioners of hypnosis have described it to us sounds familiar. For them it was like being made to imagine being pinned by a gigantic tarantula, harsh hairs of its legs caressing them all over. There's a real emotional feeling to it. You can't physically 'feel' anything because it's not physically real, but it's real in another sense. They know that it's only an idea, and they know that it's controlled by me, who they trust, so its scary in a fun way, like a roller coaster. In any form, I've decided my fangs are full of paralyzing venom, and when I surprise bite my kitten goes limp. They know they could move at any time, even without my permission, but they like being at my mercy. Obedience is its own reward.

It goes the same way for me. I can almost feel soft fur and tender flesh, and that play-struggling giving way in my grip. They prefer to face inward, head on my chest. For a good pet like Mira, the fantasy if their owner doing 'whatever he wants.' Even for us, figuring out what that was took some effort, but it all comes down to lavishing attention on a grateful victim. Giving that sense of controlled danger, complete with the full knowledge that I'll take good care of them always. It's a game we play as part of our relationship and we like the animalistic quality of biting and clawing. Sinking my teeth into someone is like, how I wanna express affection. For a physical body, that obviously doesn't go as far, and it's no good against someone not into it, but I only really know how to enjoy this kind of relationship. In some ways, for as much as I really want to touch them directly, we're a little lucky to be sharing a mind like this, where we can get the closest thing possible to our fantasies. But the other side is, I dunno if I can be really understood sometimes. I worry about scaring people, but I also kind of want to scare people.

We've been thinking about this, the two of us. We aren't completely sure how to express some things yet in a way that works for us. But I think we're getting closer.